Thoughtful Thursday?

I missed wordless Wednesday yesterday so today... here is my photo..
I really love this little boy.  <3

Decisions.

Things here have been pretty quiet lately. That is because I have been thinking and deciding on something very difficult. Something that is completely heartbreaking- even if I know it is the right thing to do. I have officially decided to rehome Kieran. I love him enough to want to see him have a better quality of life. He shouldn't have to live in a crate&rotate situation. He deserves constant love and attention that I cannot provide for him. This decision wasn't made lightly. I do truly love him and that is why I am going to do what is right and best for my Special K.
It's been so ingrained into my mind that when you take in a dog that they are family. You don't just give up on family. Sometimes I honestly do feel like I am giving up on him. On us as a family. But sometimes you have to  provide your family with a better life by letting them go and be loved by a new family. I will never stop loving him. I know I am going to miss him. I love his spunky attitude. Valkyrie might even miss him- just not in the same way I will.
Valkyrie has shown to me that she would prefer to be an only dog. Her happiness has been compromised by Kieran's presence. I am just trying to restore a happy balance. Kieran won't suffer from the extra love and attention he is going to receive with his new family. Valkyrie will be happy to have her mom back 100% since she is a spoiled princess. My emotions go back and forth on this. My heart will break giving him up but it will be healed by the fact that he will be loved by a new family.

I feel guilty. I feel selfish. I feel like crying. I feel like I am letting people down. I feel like I am giving up-taking the easy road. I feel like this is the right thing to do.

Facing facts.

Sometimes life doesn't go the way you think it should or thought it would. When I adopted Kieran just over a year ago I had dreams of doggy bliss and a new agility star. Over the course of the past year reality has smacked me in the face more than once. Kieran is not physically healthy enough for agility. Maybe one day he will be but definitely not right now. And his poor little body has suffered from being down and out for so long I'm not exactly sure that it could handle the physical strains that agility might require of him.This disappointment I am handling very well. As long as Kieran is happy and healthy he can do what he wants. He doesn't have to be my next agility star he just needs to be my very good boy.
The disappointment I am having a really hard time dealing with is that my two dogs don't like each other. There. I said it. I put it out there for everyone to know. About seven weeks after Kieran came home Valkyrie started attacking him. I thought it was just over possessions/toys and took them all away. Valkyrie tolerated him a bit better for a while but I just never knew when she would snap. Inside the house, which is very small, I have been doing crate and rotate. Only one dog can be out at a time. I wish I could baby gate off sections of the house so they could both be out but Valkyrie has zero respect for the gates. Clearly I put the gates there to be jumped over multiple times.
Outside in the yard, as long as there were no toys, the dogs were getting along great. Running and zooming all over the place, mutually ignoring one another. Every once in a while there was the occasional game of chase. That all changed this past week. Both my dogs are resource guarders and I know it. I guess I just didn't know the full extent of it before. Valkyrie pooped in the yard and turned around and decided to eat it(ew!). Kieran came over to see what she was snacking on and she attacked him. Kieran didn't even have a chance. His arm was all chewed up and now he has antibiotics and some pain medicine. He is also recovering very nicely- you wouldn't even know that he had been bitten just a few days ago. Now my life is ruled by the crate&rotate situation. I have years of crate&rotate ahead of me. There is no way that I am willing to let both dogs out in the yard together. I can't put Kieran's life at risk. I am still hoping that some day I will be able to walk them both together. I'm not sure it will ever happen. I'm having a hard time facing facts.

Goals.

Goals. Especially in relation to my dogs. I have to be realistic. I have to.
Valkyrie- I really really wanted to have Valkyrie become NATCH Zell's Valkyrie CGC. I have to face facts. This is just not going to happen. I don't have the money for starters. I also lack the time. Agility trials are on weekends. I work weekends. It will cost me nearly a thousand dollars. And that's if we run clean on every single run from now on. There is just no way. So our goal is to go to as many agility trials as we can this year and run clean and have fun. I don't think we are striving for any more titles. I have to face reality even if I don't like it. I don't plan on retiring Valkyrie from agility until she shows me that she is ready to retire.

Kieran-  I adopted Kieran because I really wanted a second agility dog. I have learned a lot from working with Valkyrie but I made a lot of mistakes training with her because she is my first agility dog. Realistically Kieran will probably never compete in agility.  I am thinking that I'd really like to try either competition obedience or rally with him. He seems to enjoy working closely with me. But our goal for this year is to get him healthy. I want to get Kieran to a healthy weight and lifestyle before I will decide anything further for him. It doesn't mean that we won't be working on our obedience skills in the meantime.

So officially the goals are:
Valkyrie- Run clean&have fun at as many trials as possible.
Kieran- Get fat&healthy. Practice obedience.

Click it!

Ok, I have known the benefits of clicker training for a long time, but oh my goodness! I am seriously loving clicker training! Kieran and I have been working on clicker training for the past week and it's beautiful. Valkyrie has learned some new tricks with the clicker too. I got a whole bunch of clicker training books from paperbackswap.com. I originally got the books so that I could teach both dogs some novelty tricks. However, since reading a couple of them, I have decided to teach Kieran to loose leash walk using a clicker and no head halter. He is doing a fantastic job! WE are doing a fantastic job. Sometimes I find it difficult to manage everything- the clicker, treats and leash. But most times it's really not so hard. We haven't taken a real walk yet since I am not physically up to it yet. But while I am still recovering is a great time for Kieran and I to work on the learning process. I realized that with the head halter I jumped right into full walks once Kieran adjusted to having it on. I stopped really training him on good behavior while wearing it because I was all about getting in some exercise. This time I hope to get it right with the clicker.

Wordless Wednesday

My loves. My life.

Hate IBD

I hate IBD. I am tired of diarrhea with unknown causes. I am just tired.Poor Kieran must be tired of the diarrhea too. It sucks. For all of us.
That is all the whining I am going to do. For now.

Finding the right food.

Finding the right food for Kieran is going to be an ongoing struggle and probably something I will talk about on a regular basis. Kieran was diagnosed last October with having Inflammatory Bowel Disease(IBD). Basically what this means is that his intestines don't always work right due to inflammation and cause him to have diarrhea. Kieran has food allergies as well- beef, soy, carrots, flax, oats and white potatoes. His food allergies certainly set off inflammation in his intestines. But right now he is having serious bouts of diarrhea and there has been no change in his diet for months. Something is causing his IBD to act up.

I am thinking about switching Kieran's food. Currently he is eating Evo 95% salmon and herring canned food. It has done wonders for him. He has been eating this food since November and it stopped his diarrhea and helped him to gain six pounds since early December. However, with no recent change in his diet I am wondering if I should try something different. Maybe he has developed a reaction to this food over time. It certainly is possible. IBD is a mean disease that doesn't have any real defined course of development. It does it's own thing and Kieran and I have to suffer the consequences.

The food I am considering switching Kieran to is Bravo.  I can't decide between Bravo basic chicken and Bravo boneless buffalo.  I can't decide for selfish reasons. Ideally Kieran should be on a novel protein- something he hasn't previously had- like buffalo. However, Kieran hasn't had chicken since October. The terrible selfish reason behind my wanting to try the chicken based food is that it is a little cheaper than the buffalo. Also, it is more accessible. I am a bad mother trying to save a few dollars at the potential expense of Kieran's intestines.

I am really going to have to think this over for a while. I can't make spit second decisions when it comes to Kieran and his diet. I need to weigh my decision carefully and take into consideration what is really best for Kieran. I'm also going to call Kieran's vet over at Smith Ridge Vet Center. Maybe he will have some insight on what I should do about Kieran's diet. For now I will do quite a bit of research and hope for the best.

Wordless Wednesday- Kieran&friends

Kieran, Peetie and Sharky at the dog park.

Loose leash

Kieran and I went to a loose leash training class offered by the pet store near us. It was useless. I was very disappointed. Thankfully it was only ten dollars and Kieran got some exercise and sunshine out of it. Kieran, of course, was an angel on his leash. I even had him on just the flat collar. I was hoping for lots of doggy distractions but there was only one other dog in the class. A deaf dalmatian puppy. The trainer worked mostly with the other dog because she was a serious puller. Everything the trainer said to teach your dog to walk on a loose leash I already knew- stopping forward progress when the leash gets tight, turning and walking the other way, rewards for walking with a loose leash, etc.  I guess we are just going to have to work really hard on this by ourselves.

It's very hard for me to train with Kieran since he has so many food allergies and has a seriously sensitive stomach. Any little change gives him an upset tummy. He has little to no toy drive so finding the right reward is tough. Then one of my rescue friends mentioned that I should try baking Kieran's canned dog food(Evo 95% salmon&herring) to make into treats since I already know that it doesn't upset his stomach. Brilliant! I wish I had thought of this myself months ago. I am currently trying to find the right way to bake it so that it doesn't stay all mushy. Eventually I will find the perfect formula.

I made a small amount of baked treats for Kieran and we went out for our afternoon walk. My goodness! What a difference. I know that food rewards are an amazing thing but Kieran probably could have gotten some amazing scores for competition heeling. He walked almost the entire walk by my side. The next day I did the same thing but apparently food appeal can only go so far. Kieran didn't pull but he wasn't glued to my side either. He would wander out front for a few strides and then jump back into position at my side. I'll take it. I am verbally praising him as well when he is in a position I like. I am still using the head halter with him just in case of serious distractions on our walks. Dogs, people and little critters(birds and squirrels) are going to be hard for him to overcome. Kieran spins and whines when he sees any of these things on our walks. Having food has definitely helped. People became a lot less interesting and dogs became a little less interesting (depending partly on Valkyrie's reaction to the other dog). Food had absolutely no effect on the squirrels and birds. But I have seen some amazing progress with food on just two walks. We could be on our way to a very blissful walking relationship.

Gotcha-day!!

One year ago today in a crazy madness filled day I brought home my little Special K!!  I can't even believe that it has been a full year. I also can't believe it has only been a year. This past year has had it's ups and downs(more downs than ups- but that is for another time- this post is going to be full of happy!)
Baby Kieran was just a fun little guy. Happy and confident and full of potential. Kieran is still such a baby in so many ways. He is still so full of potential. He hasn't had the chance to experience life to it's fullest- yet!  So here is a year in photo review.

First night home

Agility star

Super Kieran!

I left out a lot of pictures because some of them just break my heart. So these are the ones that over the past year have really made me smile. Happy Gotcha Day Kieran!!!

2010 Christmas

Playing ball

Approved.

One year ago today a now dear friend let me know I was approved to adopt Kieran- then he was known as Justice. The second dog! Finally! I'd been hunting for so long for that perfect match for my little family. Kieran sounded like what I was looking for. Playful, energetic, interested in toys, mellow around the house and got along with other dogs and cats.  And this photo was what helped me decide.

Who could resist such a cute face?

We had seven weeks of total bliss.  Then the honeymoon was over. It's so hard for me to believe that I have two of the most wonderful dogs out there and that they can't seem to get along. Valkyrie is still a very good girl. She just hates her brother. Kieran is a very good boy. He is still learning but he learns quickly. We live in a crate and rotate situation now. One dog must be crated if the other is loose in the house. Not at all what I expected when I adopted the second dog. Thankfully I can walk both dogs together. I am hoping to try to do slow reintroductions over the summer- once Kieran and I are both feeling better.
I do not regret choosing to bring Kieran home. He needed me. We had a long troubled road last year. But he has brought me unbelievable amounts of joy in that time too. He has connected me to an amazing group of friends that I might not have otherwise met. My little family is so loved and supported by so many now. And I love all of those that have been there for us and helped us through some very tough times.

2 dogs- 2 walking styles

Well actually that isn't true. They both pull, I mean walk, the same. Even though neither dog weighs very much I feel like I am being pulled apart at the seams when I try and walk them on a flat collar. 

I have never been able to teach Valkyrie to walk politely on a leash. This is probably more my fault than hers. As I have stated before- I had no idea about dog training when I brought Valkyrie home. I don't even think I made an effort to train her to do anything at all until she was nearly two years old.  I didn't make a serious effort to train her to do anything until she was four years old and all hell broke loose and a training intervention was desperately needed. Somehow I have put agility titles on this dog and can't manage to teach her to walk nicely on a leash? There is something very wrong with this picture. 

Quite a few years ago I bought a gentle leader for Valkyrie. She nearly ripped her face off. No amount of cookies was going to be good enough to properly acclimate her to this new head halter. I needed a way to walk her without having my shoulder pulled out of its socket. I tried a choke collar. And it worked. But I felt terrible about using it. Once Valkyrie figured out that I wasn't going to follow through with the "pop" of the choke collar she leaned in real hard and would choke herself. For a long time I just left her on a flat collar and let her yank me around. Last summer I discovered the sense-ation harness. I decided to try it out. Valkyrie certainly isn't a saint on a leash now(also more my fault than hers) but I can walk her without injuring myself.  She doesn't pull as much as before and now I have more control when she does pull. I plan on working more with her in this harness and maybe by summertime we will have mastered the art of loose leash walking. 

Kieran is also a master puller. He has had a rough start- he's been very sick with inflammatory bowel disease(IBD) but that topic is a whole other post or ten by itself- but that certainly doesn't break his pulling spirit. He has places to go and people to meet and it all has to be done before the end of the walk. I planned to buy Kieran a sense-ation harness since I liked how well it worked with Valkyrie. But money has been tight so I decided to try the gentle leader on Kieran. He certainly was not thrilled with it initially. However, he can be bought. Just a few minutes each day over the course of a couple days I was able to convince him that every time the head halter went on he would get something very yummy. Yesterday we went on our first walk. I won't call it a phenomenal success but it was definitely progress. I know I need to work with him by himself to get it just right. He didn't pull once he realized that it wasn't going to get him anywhere. Right now with the limited amount of daylight I walk the dogs together. Once there is more daylight I plan to walk the dogs individually to work on their loose leash walking. Kieran and I are also going to attend a loose leash walking seminar next weekend. Crossing fingers and paws that we learn something(and then apply it!)