One step forward may sometimes lead to a couple steps backwards. And that's ok. This week I repeated or missed a couple of my yoga workouts. I repeated day1 so that my sister and I would be starting this 30day yoga journey together. I missed day3 because yesterday was an incredibly busy day. Closing one chapter of my life and preparing to start a new one. Also, we were celebrating my sister's birthday with the family. It's always nice to spend time with my family. They are full of love and support. My life is a bit adrift right now and I'm not entirely certain which direction I am heading. But getting my yoga time in today was wonderful. I also spent part of today out on my bike in the sunshine and fresh air. I'm making more of an effort to take care of the physical me but I need to remember to take care of the emotional/mental side of me. It isn't easy. My heart hurts a lot lately. I am looking into joining a grief counseling group. Valkyrie passed away on December 21, 2018 and she left the biggest hole in my heart. I cry daily. I am doing my best to find out who I am without her and I think that a grief group might just help me on that path. My path isn't a straight line and will definitely be steps forward as well as a few steps backwards. In the end, if I'm making forward progress, I am going to count that as a win. Today's yoga was about stretching. Physically stretching the muscles but also about stretching the mental muscles. Right now that touches me to the core. I need to focus my mind and calm my heart. I'm thinking of big life changes. I need to find peace first before I change anything else right now. I need to find me again. Maybe this journey to finding myself again will help in my life changes I am considering. I was so much a part of Valkyrie that I really have no idea who I am without her. And I can't leave out the part where I just ended a nearly 8year relationship with someone I still love. I may love him but I just don't think that we were good together anymore. My heart aches not just for me but so much for him. I hope that he can find some peace and happiness eventually. I hope we can both stretch our minds and our hearts and find peace again.
No comments:
Post a Comment